Gratitude

I've lived most of my life inside my head. And it's far from true living and distant from the promise of life to the full. I got out of bed today sore and unwilling. Before I managed to shower, I asked the Lord to free me from despair. In Jesus' Name, I claimed victory and trusted in the Almighty. Like the gray clouds dispersed by the emerging light, my resolve to live cleared my head. As I sit now and work on exposing my thoughts, I will honor the Lord for His work and thank the husband who got me out of bed today and took me to work beating traffic and tardiness.

Today is a reminder that in life its the small acts of commitment that matter the most. They can lead us (or sometimes push us) to the right path. Not to the grand and spectacular life we mostly daydream about but towards truth and sacrifice. Truth in all things that work for good. And goodness that flourish in every sacrifice both for the taker and the giver. My sacrifice today is a broken spirit and the strength of my weary bones is gratitude.

My Life is Not My Own

I am crushed and pressed

My heart heavy in my chest

Too much demands I'm carrying

Within I am tired and bleeding

I want to own my life and time

Take full control, I whine

I got trapped with responsibilities

Burdened & out of possibilities

I cried to the Lord for help

And sought the Holy Spirit

He took me by the hand

On a rock He made me stand

I am a slave to my Lord

To my Master I am yoked

My life is not my own

Obedience is my song

-June 14, 2019 | 1:27PM-

i love to write.

maybe because words have always been a comforting companion. and they just flow out naturally even before i learned to do my math.

maybe because i love how i feel every time i finish reading a good book or a blog.

maybe because i have the desire to reach out to people and give back the same inspiration i get every time i get to read their hearts.

or maybe i just do because it's a gift and it's how the Creator wants me to celebrate this gift.

and so i will keep writing. to give thanks. to celebrate a life. to honor time.

Birthdays are special because they let you realize, again and again, that you have a Creator who loves you enough to give up His own life for you.

pain and jealousy

a repost from Lent of 2014.
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Pain & Jealousy

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

1:03 PM

I spent Lent reflecting on Pain. I ended April -(springtime) with a snap on Jealousy.

Reflecting on pain caused me to fear that the Lord may lead me to a life of single blessedness.

Fear, or should I say dread, clouded my vision of faith. Instead of trusting in the Lord and recalling all His graces unto me, I got narrow sighted and fixated on my false knowledge of the Lord - that He is one to cause pain and pain alone.

Pain perhaps was a way to show me that the path of obedience - to the (community) way of life I was called entails pain. It is not one of smooth and bump-free ride. It is not "only until it is all fine and sunny". It has to be all the way - in victory and in pain. But I took it differently instead. In my resistance towards pain and suffering, I became the lord of my life by securing all possible measures to ensure my "safety". Even to the point of declaring singleness while there is time to save face and acquire applause for a noble choice. I do not want to grow old and single and having to deal with my imaginary audience explaining the whys and hows. Or so, even, I am afraid that my own reflection will ask me one day - where your choices have led you?  And so before that can happen, I wanted an insurance policy. Like playing the game of chess, I used up my mind to work out strategies to check mate. I forgot I am not a chess player with a sharp mind. I am a woman in need of her God.

Today's (apr 30) reflection of the WAU pointed out the Sadducees' jealousy that blinded their vision and clouded their judgment. Instead of praising God for their own gift, they curse God's work by coveting other people's goodness. In the same manner, I find myself in the same situation. I am slow to recognize the jealousy building up in me as I witness one couple after the other, in fast progression, wed in the altar before us. Friends and community brethren enter into relationships, undergo marriage preparations, get married and raise their young children right before my eyes. Their blessings, though I witness with happiness for them , secretly caused my heart to question the Lord's plan for my life. Today, I am still not even 100% certain that He will bless me the life I so desired - to be a wife and mother. There are no guarantees, no insurance policies. But I guess that is what they call faith. To believe in the unseen, to trust in the unknown.

where your choices have led you? This is me asking myself. Today.

Well, for one, it has led me to a life of discipleship. Every day I wake up, get up and live my life just the way how it is. And in that every single day, I am (and will be) thanking God for His generosity and mercy. I am nothing and yet I am given everything - life in its fullness.

Second, to a love-filled life. The love and acceptance I enjoy every day from my family is comforting and nurturing. This time of my life I am able to devote my time to people who love me and care for me. And I have the time to care for each in return. I am once again reminded never to waste any single moment as like everything else, this too may pass. Before the next season comes along, I am to be present to the here and now. It will be a waste spending a day wishing on for tomorrow.

Third and last. It has led me to waiting. A special time of being pruned and groomed. Waiting is never easy and comfortable. While I wait I am often tempted to get restless and do insignificant things to divert my focus. However, on the other side of the coin, waiting can be a very precious opportunity to train and learn- while keeping in place my focus. The main goal is God, not me. It is one very difficult discipline to master. Waiting is God's gift for me to master it before my next assignment. Else, I will be one lousy disciple. Either married or single, lousy is no cool.

I am Roms. Single and cool :)

Here For You

24 December 2015

10:16AM

It's the day before Christmas and it's 10:03 in the morning. I have a long list of stuffs to get done for the day to set off a personal Christmas tradition. While making the bed and sorting out the laundry, my head races for the other items on the checklist - clear the shelf, sort the books, put away the pens and pile up neat the clothes in the closet. Lost in a moment of eagerness, the playlist suddenly rocked the little home with these lyrics:

So you think you've got it all figured out

Well you know you can't make it alone

Everybody needs somebody to help them out

And you know I could be that someone

So you think that love is long overdue

Tired of looking for someone to care

Let me tell you now the choice is up to you

But you know I will always be there

So now you've got it all figured out

And you know you've found someone that cares

And if you ever need somebody to help you out

Well you know I will always be there

And if you ever get lost on life's highway

Don't know where to go

There's just one thing that I want you to know

I am here for you, always here for you

When you're needin' someone to hold you

Remember I told you, I am here for you

I am here for you

The Lover sings and the woman breaks. For a heart that longs to love, for hands that long to be held, for a life that longs to be shared, she will always know that she is and will always be loved, held and kept.  And no puzzle will be too hard to have it all figured out.

the wind beneath my wings

from left: sir john, sir gus, maam elsa, maam lorna & urs truly

 

I wrote this in my Journal the day after the Lord has brought us into victory. This one I learned from work and has greatly shaped my values and my perspective towards life in general.

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18 November 2014

5:37PM @ Home

Dear God :)

Let me us eup the last few pages of this notebook thanking and honoring you for your great mercy in all our journey everytime we go to the head Office for Board Mtgs.

Thankyou for a very good year. The Philcom Year as the Mgmt. would say. Thank you for the men and women, all of them who worked hard. thank you for the men and women who assisted us - drivers, janitors, clerks, casuals/contractuals, everybody.

Thank you so much to M' Elsa, M' Lorna, Sir John & Sir Gus. I've learned so much. For this last travel here are what I learned:

1. Hard work pays off.
2. Work hard with generosity of heart. Grumbling is being ungrateful.

3. Honor and thank the people who helped you. Consider every one contributes. Humility is the key.

4. Respect and honor your bosses. Do not undermine their authority. Humility is the key.

5. Always give thanks. Express gratitude in tangible ways. Be generous with kind words and actions.

6. The best way to manage time is to splurge time for God. God first.
7. Serve God's people first before your own comfort.
8. Honor your family by involving them and letting them in on your life.

9. To do more, exercise and eat healthy. Take care of your body and your body will honor you back by sustaining you in a long stretch.

10. Quiet your mind first before you panic.
11. Learn to laugh andlet go of what you cannot control.

12. It is important to spread some laughs.

13. Have nothing to do with the cheap desire to boast. Always keep in mind, you are not the universe, you are part of an interplay of the universe. Give due credit to everyone in every situation.
14. Exercise moderation - in hard work, in spending and in worrying.
15. Relate always. Get in touch with the next person's human side - family and aspirations. The best common ground is what warms the heart. Whether you are the CEO or the driver.

16. You don’t (and cannot) know it all. Ask help.  Tell the truth when you don't know. But share, always, what you know.

17. Explore once in a while. Go outside your comfort circle. See places and people you don’t usually come across with. Learn from the unknown.
18. Take time to enjoy the colors around you - pens, notebooks, post its, clips, tapes -  be creative. You don’t have to be boring when you're busy.
19. Serve those who work for you. Honor them by serving them (e.g. *** *** serving us coffee and carrying our bags for us)
20. Slow people are not there to impede you. They are there to teach you to slow down and take notice of what you might have overlooked because you were in a hurry (*'*****)
21. It's okay to give - out of appreciation (*'****)
22. You are not necessarily weak when you are a good man. when you are a good man, it's okay to show strength. ( *** & ***)

6:03PM

Gotta end this for now :)

My Lord, thank you.

You are the wind beneath my wings.
 

The Schoolgirl goes to the Office

Life at work is tough. And it gets tougher over the years.

I have another perspective about it though. This one lifts up the weight and makes the day bearable. Pleasurable even on some special days. I don’t go to work. I go to school.

• My school year begins every 1st working day of January.  I buy myself a new set of school supplies. I have my special pens, post-its, memo pads and big, pretty, nice print notebooks. I have a notebook for every subject - meetings, to do list and BOD meetings. I also prepare new set of shoes and bag. The scent of new stuffs stirs an excitement like it always did with my pencils and crayons back then. And then I am eager to go back to school again.
• In my school I have different subjects - Operations, Finance, Engineering, Network, Logistics, Sales, Management, Information Technology, and of course the all-time favorite of many, Recess. In each subject, I have my Professor. All are equally brilliant and each with unique qualities.
• In a day, I go to different class in different time. Some days, the Professor is out of town. Some days, the discussions are so interesting they get to extend the time. At times, I'd also have to skip lunch so ill be on time for the next class.
• I also have different sorts of classmates I go to school with. One class we are many, in some we are just few. Some I get along with very well, a few others I wish I won't see the next semester.
• Assignments, projects and papers. I am not spared from them just yet. And the deadlines, too. Very demanding and stressful.
• To hone the individuals holistic  well-being, the school's admin allow us to participate in several extra curricular activities - where we can have fellowship, games, sing and dance. We have our regular trick or treat for the kids, summer outing and parties. In each activity volunteers are tapped to organize, head the committees, plan for the games, host the event and all other significant roles.
• And finally, the make or break moments. Quizzes and Finals. I am subject to a lot of quizzes, mostly oral exams. On the spot. The Professor can just throw questions at you without you and you can't be unprepared by not knowing. And the Finals come in the form of annual evaluation. The over-all rating determines whether I pass or fail, retake or move to the next level.

Like any other regular student, I spend time to study my notes and review the past days' lessons. I carefully note what my Teacher said and what lessons were taught in the Subjects. The funny thing about it, the more I review, the more I see that there is not much difference really in what I learn inside the classroom, in the office and in my personal life. Well, that should not surprise me. After all I am really just a student in a greater classroom called the Universe.

My sister's keeper

If there's anyone who would give her life for my sister in a heartbeat, that would be my Mamang. I believe she would do the same to any of us her three children. Growing up, my mother would always tell me "Ang imong manghud...". By that she would mean, "watch over your little sister". She would tell me that every time she sends us off to school, whenever she would leave us home alone while she'll be out for errands. The same thing she told me when she was rushed to the hospital to deliver our youngest. I was 14 when the 3rd addition to the family came. That night, I knew behind her words was the fear that she may never come back again. And she wanted to make sure that my little sister will be taken cared of.  Just in case.

I can never recall any childhood memory without my sister being in the picture. She is 4 years my junior but practically we grew up like twins, sharing almost everything. Our looks (from Papang) , our clothes (Mamang would sew us clothes of different style but from the same cloth)  and even our room (yes, up to this day). We fight a lot, too. In all our brawls, she was always the winner and I was the whiner. She's strong and determined. What she sets out to accomplish, she achieves. May it be a cellphone unit or making it through College. She studies diligently and works hard without spilling too much. She is thrifty and prudent, never throwing away what she feels can be saved for future use. she is silent but she can be tough. No one can bully their way into her guts. I often wonder that between the two of us, perhaps she's really the older sister who was born just a few years later.

We grew up as sisters but not really as best friends. I don’t really know why. Perhaps there was too much fighting going on while we were younger, or maybe because I left her too early when I had my own set of friends starting off in High School. Whichever, by the time I realized I wanted her to be my friend, we were already claiming to be adults dealing with our own individual worlds. It was already hard to get through. The only thing that keeps us together is the family. Whatever fight we were in the middle of dissolves the moment we share any family occasion. We were always there for each other. May it be a birthday celebration, Christmas day or our brother's graduation. The link continues to strengthen as we share more family decisions together. We step beyond being sisters into being partners. In all decision process the family has to undertake, we both slowly take the front seats as we together lead the family now that the folks are getting older. The move to our new home, the care of Mamang when she had her stroke and all other things. In all these, I can never recall a moment not having my sister around to discuss things over with and finalize a decision.

Up to this day, I still do not know about her first crush, nor her first love and neither about the desires of her heart. We do not fight anymore. Unlike little kids who fight and make up, we settle into silence and space whenever an issue comes up. Still,  nothing that a simple family get together can patch up. In my heart I still long for her friendship. And I believe we are, of different sort, beyond the giggles and those stuffs. On New Year's evening mass, I came with my sister giving thanks for a wonderful year. In the middle of the mass, while the priest was preparing the table for the Eucharist, my heart was moved and brought back to memories of the past. Long ago, when we were little girls about the age of 8 and 4, left at home while Mamang was away, the lights suddenly went off and 2 girls were scared amidst total darkness. My sister clung unto me and I was trembling with fear. My mother's words rang out "Ang imong manghud…". Even as a very young girl, I just knew, I had to muster all the courage I could to find our way through the dark and get some light. Because, then and now, I know and I want to be my sister's keeper.

Scrub Off

I can't get enough of the holidays. I was set to go back to work today but I kept that nagging thought locked up once more and rolled up my sleeves for one task I've been itching to do. Scrub the bathroom walls.

I am not your regular neat and tidy housemate. Rarely I take hold of the broom to sweep nor dust off the furniture. But something always moves me in a magical way every time it's a holiday. By holidays, I practically refer only to two occasions. My birthday on November 1st and the long Christmas holidays in December. Perhaps it's that feeling of new beginnings that works in me. I always want to start over clean.

This will not be a blog about how to clean and scrub the bathroom floors. I'll leave that up to the experts :)

I just wanna share one victory I had today. The kind that brings forth a liberating sense. Scrubbing off the deep-seated dirt taught me a lot. Mostly, reminded me of what I already know yet often neglect. The simple truths.

• Dirt gradually accumulate over time. To the human eyes, they are not noticeable until one day when you have the time to mull over and notice them screaming like monsters ready to jump at you.
• Scums are bred in moist. Bathrooms are supposedly left to dry after use.
• Daily cleaning needs 5 minutes. General cleaning requires 2 hours. And a bit of sore on the shoulders.

I am so blessed I have a regular neat and tidy Guy who takes the time every day to wash me clean and dry me free from scums. Even if He does it everyday, He must still be sore from deep-seated dirt that clings on to me. But in each sore, He wipes off the sweat from His face and gives me a smile.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10 

It's a New Year

It’s time for some New Year’s resolutions. 

Well, I don’t have one. I only have a few confessions. 1. I’ve quit my job. 2. I got my own place. 3. I’m leaving and I don’t know exactly where. I just know I’m leavin’ town and I’m throwing away my to-do list.

Just kidding. Happy New Year’s Day everyone!

For the year ahead I only have one wish though. Freedom.

Not the kind I secretly longed for a long time. Not detachment from responsibilities and roles. Not the random spontaneous kind that boils up an explosive rush within. I must admit, there are days (and more still of those days), I wish I have a magical remote control over everything – to press on the mute button to all the unsynchronized voices I hear, to switch off channels when my present load becomes unbearable, to turn off and get a break. But life, for me and for everyone else, does not operate that way. Thank God and His infinite wisdom. My life is not one giant box filled with unwanted stuffs while I get tangled down at the bottom unable to climb my way up for escape. Instead, I know and I constantly remind myself, that mine (like everyone else’s) is a gift. Only, to fully appreciate and use that gift is to first unlock it with a key called Freedom.

Yes. The one that allows me to choose. Life or Death. Joy or Sorrow. Gratitude or Loss. The one that my Friend spared His life for just so I may have life in its fullness. Enough of too much thinking. Enough of too much empty words. Enough of what I know. I just want it. I need it. Not something outside of me but something that integrates in my whole being. Inseparable. Something that I cannot live without. 

“As for you my friends, you were called to be free. But do not let this freedom become an excuse for letting your physical desires control you. Instead, let love make you serve one another.” (Galatians 5: 13)

Life without Joy

I am a creature of habit. I follow the same route. I eat the same food. I use the same shampoo. Anything off track gets me uneasy. Especially when I am not prepped up for it. I won't say I am a mission impossible but a willing work in progress. It took me years to understand my psychological make up, more to synergize with it. I've had my bad days but most often I am content and able to live life to the full. Relatively, of course.

For almost 10 years, working has been so much bearable and comfortable having a mentor, a big sister and a friend backing me up every step of the way.  Joy and I were classmates in College. When graduation came in 2001, she came to work in one of the telecommunications companies here in the City while I stayed on the same College we went to. After my full time volunteer work for CYA, I was invited to join their team in 2005. Through her recommendation (and of another classmate who resigned from the post), I got  the job. Since day one at work, Joy has never left me gawking  my way in to the corporate world. She introduced me to people, systems and routines essential to what we do. I was an Applied Math major with inclination for administrative work trying to fit into the Marketing Department in  charge of advertising DSL product. Everyday I was living in raw fear. But with Joy beside me, I learned tremendously. I learned not to back down when fires are thrown straight at you or even behind your back. Your best defense is what you know, how well you know it and how to execute it. It was a tough place, but together, we overcome a lot of difficult days. We would laugh at how we tagged ourselves as Joy and Romi, the team to beat. About the same time, the company, had to deal with a lot of changes. The change created fears over security and tenure. Finally, when it came down to it, 2009 we had a new company name, new management. Fortunately not one is lost. Essentially, between the two of us, Joy & Romi continued to strive. Not for long. In 2010, Marketing was dissolved and we were asked to move down to the 2nd floor. That meant goodbye to "our" floor, our home for 5 years. Moving down also meant I will be transferred to Customer Service and Joy will be in Sales. That change was abrupt. After a good cry over it we simply moved on. We did not consider ourselves to be casualties of acquisition. What we learned we continued to use in our new assignments. Finally in 2011, we started working together again. Different assignments but reporting to one boss. And just like how it was in our earlier days, we continued to combine our gifts and abilities to gain the best results. And we loved to work and of course getting the best results :) Together.

Our partnership continued to grow. Like school girls who never ran out of stories to share, we continued to meet for lunch and meetings, every single day. We exchange ideas to solve our problems at work while we exchange stories of our personal lives from the essential to nonsense. We would laugh, giggle and cry. Well, I cry and she would put on a sad face (Joy doesn't cry. It's a real success if I get to have a tear or two from her). Each of us became a family member of the other. When I was sick and hospitalized for the first time, Joy was at the ER filling up forms for my admission. When I was taken blood sample, another first time, Joy was there at my bedside giving me encouragement. From her I learned the practical means to take care of my family. Joy taught me a lot like a big sister would to her naïve little sister. She would patiently listen to my rants and wants. And she was even more patient with me when my crazy days would come around, when I don’t want to be with anybody. But more to these, what we truly share is our faith. We do not have the same religion but we share the same love for God. I will always admire her radical faith. In all our conversations, never did it pass without having acknowledged the presence of God in our lives. To me, that bond will always be priceless.

Effective Sept 15, 2014, Joy will no longer be there when I come in for work. She (and her husband) resigned from work to respond to God's call for them to full time ministry. As early as 2 months back, I was prepared for this already. But no amount of preparation will shield me from missing my friend. I've had countless lunches without Joy, but tomorrow will be totally different. An empty chair, a silent conversation, an email "are you there?" that will never get a reply. For a long, long time.

would be nice to have one like this ;)

Traditional Home Office by Baltimore Interior Designers & Decorators Stony Run Home

of fears and failures

The story about the prophet Elijah allowed me to take a look about my own fears and how they affect my life. When he came into hiding in a cave wishing to die out of fear and failure, the Lord kept drawing him out. Twice the Lord asked "Elijah, what are you doing here?"

So many times in my life I am afraid. Afraid to live and take risks. Afraid to laugh and cry as much. Afraid to love and be responsible. At some point, my fears manifest physically causing me chest pains and feeble knees. On a daily basis, in the context of work, I am afraid to be the one to report the bad news to the boss, to enforce a required overtime work to my colleagues, to take calls and receive audience of very irate (and insulting) clients, to click the send button of an email reply expressing my arguments and a lot of other things, mostly having to deal with people. I am afraid to commit mistakes and to be judged accordingly. I am afraid to fail. It's hard to make a decision when fear becomes a factor. Easier said than done but true, always I need to be objective. A few breathing exercise and counting to ten before I act helps. But what really puts everything in perspective is holding on to the truths that:

• I am not alone. I work with a team and a direct head who backs me up. When a problem gets too difficult to handle, I can always tap on the wisdom from more experienced colleagues and from the authority of a boss who has the capability to resolve concerns.

• Being right is the greatest defense. Without having to be imposing and arrogant, the message can get across. So long as I did my part and stood by it, I can accept insults without guilt. In the end, I shall be vindicated.

• Support from colleagues is a great source of confidence. When you can laugh off a truly bad day (and close to impossible pressures) with the rest of your team mates, everything becomes bearable. And the next day won't be so bad after all.

On more personal matters, concerning the heart and soul, the same truths apply. On my darkest days, when I go in hiding, the greatest truth that has always drew me out is God's unrelenting presence in my life. My favorite part of the verse is "And after the fire there was the soft whisper of a voice." That voice has never stopped encouraging me to keep going.

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1 Kings 19: 9-13. Elijah, one of my favorite Bible characters after reading Paulo Coelho's adaptation of the prophet's life in his book The Fifth Mountain. 

in sickness and in health

I almost got knocked down with a cold this weekend. thank God and Webster(?) the word "almost" was invented & compiled. I was feeling extra tired as the week came to an end. Saturday morning, my nose is dripping like a leaking faucet and my throat hurt robbing me off the sleep my body wanted. Requesting prayers from my *women's group and taking in extra dosage of Vitamin C, I went on with the weekend as much energy as I could muster. The whole time, I kept praying I won't get sick. There's just a lot of things to do. Praying led me to appreciating the value of good health and taking care of the body. When the body is well and healthy, it can do a lot of things. The body can praise its Creator, serve its fellowmen and do more work it is required to do. The work that the body does also says a lot of the condition of the heart that compels its actions.

I just sent off an email to complete today's work. A few more hours Sunday will be over and another week begins. I honor the day by looking back and thanking God for a weekend fully lived. Did the laundry, monitored operations at work, lunch with Mamang on a clear Saturday, picked up the Chopsuey on my way, celebrated the *Lord's Day with brothers and sisters, enjoyed more laughs and helpful input for our *state of life, met friends of friends, enjoyed Sunday morning without the rush, went to Church for mass, had lunch with *Kaina, attended the *branch assembly, went home early before the sun came down, completed work on time and a few extra time to do this blog :)

because i am called to do more, i need a healthy body to help me do more. and i will keep working at it.

stay healthy everyone!

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*A few jargons:

Women's  Group - a support group we have in the community - Ang Kahayag sa Diyos (KSD). We are a group of 7 single women who meet weekly to support one another in our growth as Christians.

Lord's Day - a celebration we do  on Saturdays to set aside the concerns of the week and thank God for all His graces.

State of life - a discernment process we went through to know which state the Lord is calling us to live, either religious, single blessedness or married.

Kaina - a totally talented and faithful sister from our Women's Group

Branch Assembly (of KSD) - held every 1st Sunday of the month where we gather to worship, hear God's message through the prophecies and sharings from the brothers and sisters.

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Something that helps me a lot.

Fresh Kalamansi extract every morning before I take in anything. 12-14 pieces of medium-sized, green kalamansi, sliced and squeezed fresh. i learned this health tip from the sisters in one of our women's activities and I've been taking them for 5 months now. So far it's been very helpful for my health. Aside from the tangy taste to the mouth, no hyper-acidity has been acquired since then ;) 

friday fuss

hi there!

it's a special friday. the end of the work week and the beginning of a new month.

i've been thinking about it yesterday and i wanted i little ritual to welcome what's up ahead. and then wham! i woke up sore and heavy. my mind kept screaming "get up roms! get up!" then my eyelids got extra sticky i wanted some superpower to break them open. my limbs fell limp and sore. particularly my legs felt like lifeless logs just wanting to roll without effort. if only. it took a mother's persuasion to get me out of bed. the rest is a list of routine to set off the day. moving forward, i'm now here in front of my computer ready to roll with a blank head and a long list of to dos. God help me.

well, since i'm here now and should be here, i might as well give it my best shot. in spite of the malaise working its way through my back and to the rest of my body, i have to keep moving. some days it could be tough for the heart. some days challenging for the brains. today, my body wants to stay asleep and go to rest. but today, the will must be stronger and the faith bolder. how else can i possibly work on becoming a faithful servant. gotta give.

photo alignment trial #2

still very new to this. i wish to be able to tell the story behind the photos and i want to show the photos in the most beautiful way possible. today, this will do for a beginner who just stumbled upon this topic today.

photo alignment trial

how i wish this was so simple. for me at least :( i am still dazzled over the html codes i totally did not get it. but i will keep trying. both in taking pictures, learning to edit and blogging for me and you.

well, for all it's worth, this has been fun and a great way to bust some stress ;)

li'l creativity

hi there!

let me share with you here some of my stress busters. when life gets too stuffy with pressures all around me, i took comfort being lost in a creative world where freedom is the only rule.

hope you will enjoy them as much as i did :)

when there is too little

on my way to the office, i stopped by the ATM to get my pay. It's payday! :)
i never outgrew the sensation i have every time i stand before the money machine keying in my pin and waiting to see how much i have to live with for the next 15 days. today is no exception. oh the thrill! ;)
most often, i get what i expect. just enough means to live by. and the next 2 weeks will be spent creatively on budgeting and praying :D the blessing of an earned income has led me to even more appreciate the following 3 gifts in my life.

my work.
it's both a gift and a responsibility. the work that i have hones my skills, improves my capabilities and forms my character. how i respond to challenges and deal with people has helped me a lot in my personal and community growth. by God's grace i am able to put into practice what my training gave me during my formative years. plus, the work pays the bills and other needs.

my family.
it's always a joy to be able to spend for the family. it may not be too often and too plenty, still the delight in my heart to share and afford food and stuffs for the home and family is priceless. having the family huddle together before the tube enjoying a good dvd movie and a cup of our favorite ice cream is truly pure joy.

my community.
community building work is said to be pricey - in time, talent and treasure. but the joy and fulfillment is even more valuable. and it certainly wouldn't hurt if you can share a pie of pizza or a birthday cake when the group are all in. oh the laughter and precious moments. priceless.

when i walked away from that ATM machine this morning and done with the "flexible" budget, the faith exercise begins anew. give what is due to the Lord and to His people, the rest is simply relying on His providence. in my 13 years of toiling, not one need has been left unaided. i never had too little. i only have enough and more of priceless joy no money can buy.