My sister's keeper

If there's anyone who would give her life for my sister in a heartbeat, that would be my Mamang. I believe she would do the same to any of us her three children. Growing up, my mother would always tell me "Ang imong manghud...". By that she would mean, "watch over your little sister". She would tell me that every time she sends us off to school, whenever she would leave us home alone while she'll be out for errands. The same thing she told me when she was rushed to the hospital to deliver our youngest. I was 14 when the 3rd addition to the family came. That night, I knew behind her words was the fear that she may never come back again. And she wanted to make sure that my little sister will be taken cared of.  Just in case.

I can never recall any childhood memory without my sister being in the picture. She is 4 years my junior but practically we grew up like twins, sharing almost everything. Our looks (from Papang) , our clothes (Mamang would sew us clothes of different style but from the same cloth)  and even our room (yes, up to this day). We fight a lot, too. In all our brawls, she was always the winner and I was the whiner. She's strong and determined. What she sets out to accomplish, she achieves. May it be a cellphone unit or making it through College. She studies diligently and works hard without spilling too much. She is thrifty and prudent, never throwing away what she feels can be saved for future use. she is silent but she can be tough. No one can bully their way into her guts. I often wonder that between the two of us, perhaps she's really the older sister who was born just a few years later.

We grew up as sisters but not really as best friends. I don’t really know why. Perhaps there was too much fighting going on while we were younger, or maybe because I left her too early when I had my own set of friends starting off in High School. Whichever, by the time I realized I wanted her to be my friend, we were already claiming to be adults dealing with our own individual worlds. It was already hard to get through. The only thing that keeps us together is the family. Whatever fight we were in the middle of dissolves the moment we share any family occasion. We were always there for each other. May it be a birthday celebration, Christmas day or our brother's graduation. The link continues to strengthen as we share more family decisions together. We step beyond being sisters into being partners. In all decision process the family has to undertake, we both slowly take the front seats as we together lead the family now that the folks are getting older. The move to our new home, the care of Mamang when she had her stroke and all other things. In all these, I can never recall a moment not having my sister around to discuss things over with and finalize a decision.

Up to this day, I still do not know about her first crush, nor her first love and neither about the desires of her heart. We do not fight anymore. Unlike little kids who fight and make up, we settle into silence and space whenever an issue comes up. Still,  nothing that a simple family get together can patch up. In my heart I still long for her friendship. And I believe we are, of different sort, beyond the giggles and those stuffs. On New Year's evening mass, I came with my sister giving thanks for a wonderful year. In the middle of the mass, while the priest was preparing the table for the Eucharist, my heart was moved and brought back to memories of the past. Long ago, when we were little girls about the age of 8 and 4, left at home while Mamang was away, the lights suddenly went off and 2 girls were scared amidst total darkness. My sister clung unto me and I was trembling with fear. My mother's words rang out "Ang imong manghud…". Even as a very young girl, I just knew, I had to muster all the courage I could to find our way through the dark and get some light. Because, then and now, I know and I want to be my sister's keeper.