would be nice to have one like this ;)

Traditional Home Office by Baltimore Interior Designers & Decorators Stony Run Home

of fears and failures

The story about the prophet Elijah allowed me to take a look about my own fears and how they affect my life. When he came into hiding in a cave wishing to die out of fear and failure, the Lord kept drawing him out. Twice the Lord asked "Elijah, what are you doing here?"

So many times in my life I am afraid. Afraid to live and take risks. Afraid to laugh and cry as much. Afraid to love and be responsible. At some point, my fears manifest physically causing me chest pains and feeble knees. On a daily basis, in the context of work, I am afraid to be the one to report the bad news to the boss, to enforce a required overtime work to my colleagues, to take calls and receive audience of very irate (and insulting) clients, to click the send button of an email reply expressing my arguments and a lot of other things, mostly having to deal with people. I am afraid to commit mistakes and to be judged accordingly. I am afraid to fail. It's hard to make a decision when fear becomes a factor. Easier said than done but true, always I need to be objective. A few breathing exercise and counting to ten before I act helps. But what really puts everything in perspective is holding on to the truths that:

• I am not alone. I work with a team and a direct head who backs me up. When a problem gets too difficult to handle, I can always tap on the wisdom from more experienced colleagues and from the authority of a boss who has the capability to resolve concerns.

• Being right is the greatest defense. Without having to be imposing and arrogant, the message can get across. So long as I did my part and stood by it, I can accept insults without guilt. In the end, I shall be vindicated.

• Support from colleagues is a great source of confidence. When you can laugh off a truly bad day (and close to impossible pressures) with the rest of your team mates, everything becomes bearable. And the next day won't be so bad after all.

On more personal matters, concerning the heart and soul, the same truths apply. On my darkest days, when I go in hiding, the greatest truth that has always drew me out is God's unrelenting presence in my life. My favorite part of the verse is "And after the fire there was the soft whisper of a voice." That voice has never stopped encouraging me to keep going.

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1 Kings 19: 9-13. Elijah, one of my favorite Bible characters after reading Paulo Coelho's adaptation of the prophet's life in his book The Fifth Mountain. 

in sickness and in health

I almost got knocked down with a cold this weekend. thank God and Webster(?) the word "almost" was invented & compiled. I was feeling extra tired as the week came to an end. Saturday morning, my nose is dripping like a leaking faucet and my throat hurt robbing me off the sleep my body wanted. Requesting prayers from my *women's group and taking in extra dosage of Vitamin C, I went on with the weekend as much energy as I could muster. The whole time, I kept praying I won't get sick. There's just a lot of things to do. Praying led me to appreciating the value of good health and taking care of the body. When the body is well and healthy, it can do a lot of things. The body can praise its Creator, serve its fellowmen and do more work it is required to do. The work that the body does also says a lot of the condition of the heart that compels its actions.

I just sent off an email to complete today's work. A few more hours Sunday will be over and another week begins. I honor the day by looking back and thanking God for a weekend fully lived. Did the laundry, monitored operations at work, lunch with Mamang on a clear Saturday, picked up the Chopsuey on my way, celebrated the *Lord's Day with brothers and sisters, enjoyed more laughs and helpful input for our *state of life, met friends of friends, enjoyed Sunday morning without the rush, went to Church for mass, had lunch with *Kaina, attended the *branch assembly, went home early before the sun came down, completed work on time and a few extra time to do this blog :)

because i am called to do more, i need a healthy body to help me do more. and i will keep working at it.

stay healthy everyone!

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*A few jargons:

Women's  Group - a support group we have in the community - Ang Kahayag sa Diyos (KSD). We are a group of 7 single women who meet weekly to support one another in our growth as Christians.

Lord's Day - a celebration we do  on Saturdays to set aside the concerns of the week and thank God for all His graces.

State of life - a discernment process we went through to know which state the Lord is calling us to live, either religious, single blessedness or married.

Kaina - a totally talented and faithful sister from our Women's Group

Branch Assembly (of KSD) - held every 1st Sunday of the month where we gather to worship, hear God's message through the prophecies and sharings from the brothers and sisters.

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Something that helps me a lot.

Fresh Kalamansi extract every morning before I take in anything. 12-14 pieces of medium-sized, green kalamansi, sliced and squeezed fresh. i learned this health tip from the sisters in one of our women's activities and I've been taking them for 5 months now. So far it's been very helpful for my health. Aside from the tangy taste to the mouth, no hyper-acidity has been acquired since then ;) 

friday fuss

hi there!

it's a special friday. the end of the work week and the beginning of a new month.

i've been thinking about it yesterday and i wanted i little ritual to welcome what's up ahead. and then wham! i woke up sore and heavy. my mind kept screaming "get up roms! get up!" then my eyelids got extra sticky i wanted some superpower to break them open. my limbs fell limp and sore. particularly my legs felt like lifeless logs just wanting to roll without effort. if only. it took a mother's persuasion to get me out of bed. the rest is a list of routine to set off the day. moving forward, i'm now here in front of my computer ready to roll with a blank head and a long list of to dos. God help me.

well, since i'm here now and should be here, i might as well give it my best shot. in spite of the malaise working its way through my back and to the rest of my body, i have to keep moving. some days it could be tough for the heart. some days challenging for the brains. today, my body wants to stay asleep and go to rest. but today, the will must be stronger and the faith bolder. how else can i possibly work on becoming a faithful servant. gotta give.