Postpaid

Postpaid

23 October 2013

I signed up yesterday for Smart's Freedom Plan. i did because of cost efficiency consideration. It's a P450 per month on prepaid versus P250 on postpaid. while i was filling up the form and getting in touch with the Sales Personnel in-charge, I cant help but feel the jitters down to my elbows. This may sound overrated but really I have my reasons, two major reasons in fact. One, is letting go and the other is getting hitched.

I have gone accustomed to my old prepaid sim, I like the number as it is easy to remember and it has a sentimental value in a special way. When I entered into "the land of the giants", taking on my new job assignment way back 2010, it has been my "weapon" and it has been a loyal companion ever since. And i think it has grown on me and it is now hard to let it go. Plus the fact that we are together yet I am not committed to it. As it is prepaid, I can just load it at my convenience. No worries on bad credit records and due dates.

Letting go is really not my cup of tea. and I take comfort in some sense knowing that I am not a rare case. For most people letting go is truly not easy. and the more one is able to master it, the wiser she becomes. but the process is relatively long and inconvenient. And for some, as I fear I might be, adjusting to change is unthinkable. But my response is important, else ill be stuck and growing will be long and unproductive. over comfort, I desire growth and maturity. That can be the only way for me to fulfill my dream of living a full life, free from regrets. in doing so, I must learn and act on what I have learned that letting go is part of metamorphosis. I may not end up to be a beautiful butterfly, but most certainly, I will fly lighter and more free - without the baggage of comfort.

Going to postpaid, ill be subjecting myself to exposure. Submitting my application entails me to share personal information to some unknown strangers who will be processing it. I am not really very good with "opening up" most especially to strangers. And most of all, ill be subjecting myself to a contract. ill be forced to get out of my convenient comfort and to meet the terms and conditions I signed into. while that is something I have to deal with later on, i am not exactly very prepared for it right now. I tell myself benefit outweighs the cost that's why i must allow myself to endure this discomfort to get a higher benefit.

What started as a simple consideration of budget options turned out to be a great revelation for me, of who I am and what are my fears. I consider this grace from the Lord allowing me to ponder on these things as I deepen my relationship with Him at this point in my life wherein I am once again trying to ask Him where He is leading me. The journey has been at times nerve wrecking and I have come to articulate where are those fears coming from. In my fear of letting go and in committing myself, I am delaying God's work in my life. this is not to say that I completely do not trust Him. it's just that in order to fully surrender I must overcome the obstacles. now that I see them, I need to rest in confidence that the joy in following the Lord far outweighs the pain of detaching myself from my comfort zones.